Log in

No account? Create an account
Lucinda [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Health [Sep. 18th, 2010|10:34 am]
Healthwise, 2010 didn't get off to the best start.   Firstly, my mirena IUD failed.    I have certain feelings about the use of man-made products, and the use of synthetic hormones... but it seemed like an easy way of preventing an unwanted mishap, without having to permanently prevent one.   But, instinct is something I have learned to trust. 
I found out I was pregnant in March, and had the option of having the mirena removed and risking a miscarriage.  Or keeping the mirena and risking miscarriage, premature birth or stillbirth.     Steve and I discussed the possibilities, and we both felt that we were between a rock and a hard place.    I knew from past experience that I wasn't made of strong enough stuff to endure a stillbirth - not now, not with five children to look after.    I also knew that if I didn't have the mirena removed, then I would spend each and every waking day waiting for the moment to occur. 
I spoke to both my GP, and to a Obstetric Consultant, and they both concurred that removal of the mirena was the way to hedge our bets.
Three days later I started bleeding, and it was the endgame.

Neither Steve nor I are bitter.  Sure, there was shock, and some sadness.... but if I've learned nothing else in this life, I've learned that everything happens for a reason.  My logic tells me that right now is not the right time for a new addition to the family.   In the same vein, we've both learned that we don't want to shut the door on the possibility of another Marshall baby.     So, when time has done it's healing, then maybe this will be a subject that we will revisit.

June was a blur of yet again, Pneumonia.   I seem to be a magnet for the pneumonia bug, but intolerance and allergy mean that I'm contraindicated in the vaccination.   So yet again, a simple cold had me coughing up blood and feeling extraordinarily bad.   Of course, my own GP was on holiday, and the locum/cover GP just wouldn't believe that any penicillin based antibiotics are wasted on me.  The stuff won't work, I'm immune to it.  But I had to yet again go through the motions of taking it to prove that no, I am penicillin resistant.   So naturally, two days hospitalisation due to the incompetence of a  locum GP who could barely speak english,  finally sorted my icky lungs.

Other health goings on:  I quit wheat.   I lost 40lbs in doing so.     It's great, though I sometimes miss the taste and texture of bread.  
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2010|03:05 pm]
Yet again I have failed to utilise this journal.    But, time flies and I find it difficult to be in the mindset where writing is my first priority.   However, I will try.

I'm going to update, but I think it's best to do several updates instead of one great long one.    Summarising pretty much a year, is going to be difficult, but I need to start somewhere! 
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2009|08:57 am]
I have been going through this pregnancy process with a laid back attitude and the general idea that I am an experienced Mother, I have given birth three times before, therefore whilst this life-giving process is no mean feat, it's nature.. and what can go wrong with nature??

Gail, a long-time friend has gone through this entire process with me, with one exception.. her due date is March 12th, 4 weeks before mine. This was her first pregnancy and she was absolutely ecstatic about it. Every week there's been a MySpace update about the baby. She's been counting down the days.
Last week she went into labour. It was a little early, but all looked good. On 23rd February she gave birth to a baby girl called Francesca (Frankie for short), but Frankie died at less than 1 hour old. She had no illness they knew of, no obvious reason for the death, and the medical report is citing it as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
I just can't begin to imagine what Gail and Tam are going through. It's awful, simply awful.
Many moons ago I lost a baby to stillbirth, and despite that being the most distressing event of my life, I cannot imagine what it is like to birth a healthy baby and then to lose her so quickly and so inexplicably.
At least during my horrendous experience, I knew that there was no hope for the child I gave birth to... but to have all that hope just wiped away like that is terrible.
We sent our condolences, but I haven't been to visit. I would imagine that I'm the last person Gail would want to see right now.

This awful news came not long after I was told that my baby is going to be an estimated 10lber. S/he has six weeks left to go, and is already estimated 8lbs. S/he is baby KingKong!
We have our names almost decided. It's going to be either Eleanor Niamh or Erin Niamh for a girl. For a boy it's going to be Cian James.
linkpost comment

Friends Only [Dec. 19th, 2008|06:27 pm]
This journal is and always has been friends only. Please feel free to comment to this, and I'll add you :-)
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 8th, 2008|07:13 pm]
The first complete month of attempting to conceive has now been completed.
And how have we fared? Who knows!!
I suspect that I am not pregnant, but I am having really weird menstruation issues.. ie, I've bled for a day, then a week later another day, and then a few days later another day. No full period. No consecutive days of bleeding.
I'm not taking a pregnancy test either.

We decided that we're doing this "our" way. Which means that logically, we're not gonna get that lucky after one month. If, by some weird thing, my period hasn't happened by mid-september, then I'll start suspecting.

We've talked about what will happen if/when we do get pregnant, and I can't decide whether it's a stupid move or a sane move to just get the basic medical care and rely on nature and the fact that I've given birth enough times to have a little experience with motherhood and "popping out a sprog".
I'd love to do this the all-natural way with minimal interference and without all of the unnecessary prodding and poking that seems to accompany pregnancy.
After all, pregnancy is not an illness, it's a function, and a natural state of being.
But is this a stupid point of view?

Anyway, we're enjoying sex now. I'm not gonna get into too much graphic detail, coz this is not the place for it... but all's good!
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Jul. 19th, 2008|01:47 pm]
I'm making booze.
LOL, I know that makes me sound like a wino! But it's not for my own personal consumption.

The economic situation here in the UK is getting kinda dire. Petrol prices / Gas prices are £1.25 per litre... which converts to £6.25 per gallon.... which is $12.48 per gallon. Basically, we're fucked.
Food prices have soared. A bag of easy cook rice three weeks ago cost 80p less than it did this week. For this reason, I am no longer buying easy cook rice!! I went to the wholesalers and bought a sack of rice. lb for lb it's far cheaper to buy in bulk.

Anyhoo, I got my faithful "Country Crafts" book out, which I've had since I moved into my first ever flat when I was 16. It tells you how to make your own preserves, conserves, flower arrangements, fruit jars etc. I was intrigued by the wine and mead making section, as it's something I've never really done before. My Dad has always made homebrew, or wine, or some alcoholic concotion made from whatever fruit was going cheap at the wholesale markets in town. But I didn't realise just how easy it was.
Well, I called my Dad up to see what equipment he had that I could borrow, and he gave me a crate full of stuff on the premise that I could keep whatever I could clean up (it was extremely dusty, and the demijohns had sludgey residue from years ago caked around the edge).
I took it into the yard, got the power hose and sprayed the holy hell out of it.
Then I got some sterilising powder, bottle brush, overalls, and scrubbed until everything looked brand new.
Last week I boiled up 3lbs of honey, a demijohn full of water, and let it cool. Then I started off my yeast, put it all in the demijohn together with some yeast nutrient. Put the airlock on the top and hoped for the best.
My mead is bubbling away nicely in the kitchen. I'm proud, and feel accomplished!!
This weekend, I'm gonna try making elderflower wine, and blackcherry wine. As I said, it's not for my own consumption. I'm getting my family and friends to save up their bottles, and I'm gonna prettify them with some stencilled labels and some nice fabrics.
Everything will be finished around Christmas, so instead of expensive and shitty presents, my family are gonna get a hamper containing a bottle of wine, a christmas cake (which I'm gonna start making on 1st September), some homemade mincepies, and a little personal gift.
Christmas has got too big and far too commercial. Most people I know will be really happy with a homemade personal gift.

I'm even starting to do a few amigurumi toys for the children of my friends.
I can't do what I did last year, and end up spending £2,000 on christmas gifts. It's too much and it's too difficult to do that now that I'm not earning a full time wage.

Next year I'm determined that we're gonna be a bit more self sufficient.
I've been half-heartedly growing some veggies in a plot in the back yard, and low and behold, my efforts have come to fruition. We have cabbages, lettuce, broad beans, and peas ready. I am inundated with courgettes/zucchini. I have some tomatoes. Some strawberries, and a fair few potatoes that should be ready soon.
So maybe it's gonna be worth making more effort.
I'm thinking of getting a rotavator (dunno how to spell it), and digging up half the lawn. We have quite a big yard, and there would still be plenty of grass for the kids to play on.
But we could get quite a few rows of veggies in the garden if we had the whole of the bottom of the garden to play with.

I chatted to Steve about the possibility of getting some laying hens. I watched a TV show about battery hens and the vile conditions that the industry keeps chickens in. I have been ultra careful about buying eggs and chicken ever since.
I always used to buy barn eggs, but I've learned that "barn" is a synonym for "large shed packed to the hilt with so many hens that they can't move". It's disgusting. So I only buy free-range organic from the local farm now.
As for chicken, I don't eat it myself, but my family do. The 2 for £5 deals were so easy, but now I know why they are that cheap. They are overfed to the point where their legs can't carry their weight. They are kept in barns where they never see natural light but have bright artificial lights 24/7 because they grow faster.
I now only buy free-range chicken. It means my kids don't get as much chicken as they used to, but what they do get is from good sourcces.
This is all the governments fault. They have told us all for years that chicken is the best meat, it's lower fat, it's healthy. Is it fuck.

So I want some laying hens. I want to rescue them from one of the battery hen rescue centres. I found out that the battery hens are only kept by the fucking disgusting battery farms for 12 months. Then they are considered "spent" because they don't lay on a daily basis. They still lay... they might lay once, twice or even three times a week... but to the industry that is seen as being uneconomical, so they are usually slaughtered.
The rescue hens are sweet, scared things which usually don't have many feathers due to living in a tiny cage. They sometimes have to learn to walk tall. They always have to learn how to socialise, and how the "pecking order" works.
I just feel that we could benefit from helping some of these poor girls out. Firstly, we have the space for half a dozen, maybe even a dozen. Secondly, I have the time.
Thirdly, the kids would love having some more pets. Fourthly, even if we only got one egg a week, that would be one less egg that we would have to buy.
I need to speak to Steve in depth about this though. Because ultimately having laying hens would rely fully on him building a coop, fencing a good area of the garden off, and generally putting his carpentry skills to the test.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2008|10:04 pm]
I'm so tired. It's one of those inexplicable tirednesses that crept up on me this evening. I'll soon be in bed, fast asleep.
I think I need to drop some hours in either of my two jobs, OR, I need to magickally create more hours in the day!
Right now I'm working 4 shifts a week at the restaurant... on the 4 til close shift. I'm also working anywhere from 3 to 5 days a week in the "day" job at the engineering plant. They've had big changes there, and my contract has been increased. Stupid ass management made cut-backs, and now they don't have enough staff to cover. So instead of being a Contracted Advisor, my "Advising" is basically amounting to managing the Customer Services Office. I don't want the responsibility of that, and it wasn't in the big plan. If I continue this, then I have to up my contract rates... and I know that they'll pay, but how long do I want to go on like this for?
I'm juggling work, life, kids, Steve. I have to drop something.

I have so many things on my mind right now, and I don't know what to sort first.
After trying to sort out my insurance situation re:car being hit... I got a letter today stating that the guy who hit me hasn't reported an incident. That's all the letter says. Is this good? Is this bad? Who knows???
Then there's the legal responsibility of the children should I face an early demise, which is turning into an epic can of worms. Of course, who would have thought that my decision to appoint my cousin who is the same age as me, has one child, and a very stable life, as guardian should I die; has offended my 11 years older sister who is mother-of-five-soon-to-be-six? Four children is a lot of responsibility, so is five, so is six. Ten or eleven would just be plain stupidity.
Meh, she'll come round to my way of thinking.

Why is it that sometimes you just can't do right for doing wrong??
linkpost comment

Education [Sep. 2nd, 2007|10:35 am]
This is somewhat top secret at the moment. I'm returning to education. Not community college, but an actual university and I'm going to be studying an actual undergraduate programme. I'll be doing a degree in Technology and Development.

The story behind this is long-winded, so I'm gonna tell it anyway.
I've been doing a lot of contract work for the company I *used* to work for before I had Teague. It all came about back in the summer of 2006, when they asked me if I would return after my maternity period, and they offered me a payrise. I declined. It's not really feasible to have four young children and be working the kind of hours I worked for them. So talks continued.
Anyhoo, in September of last year they became desperate and asked me to help them out, that they would contract work out to me.
The reason for their desperation is that I dealt with specialist exporting to countries with tough customs and excise. No one else could handle the work. So, we tossed figures around, and for a year I've been doing about 12 hours a week during the daytime, mostly at home.
I have some very, very good friends there. The kind of people that I'd take a bullet for... decent, hardworking, honest, reliable people who didn't forget about me when I went on maternity leave, but have always kept in touch. (It's hard to find friends like that - most people drift off as soon as someone has kids, I've got that reaction almost everywhere in life previously).

One man, Tim, became one of my closest friends. Married, thirty-something, and one of the truthworthy kind of men... we have a wonderful friendship. There's nothing between us other than friendship, and to be honest, we rarely ever talk about personal lives... we just happily share our interests.
Tim got transferred to Switzerland to do a fantastic and wonderful job. I made him a DVD from photographs and music to take with him to remember us. And in true tradition, we threw a leaving party at our favourite bar. There was a big group of us, and it was a good night.
We all drank far too much.
Tim pulled me aside and said to me: "Luci, I have to tell you something. You are wasting your life. You are fucking intelligent and you need to get a degree and get a real job that pays you real money".
I told him that a degree wasn't feasible, as I have children and bills to pay, and he said: "You need to find a way. You really really do. You can do it. You blew me away with that video. You need to do this.".
As this is something that I have been thinking about for a long, long, long time, he kinda hit a nerve. And as I was totally drunk at the time, I started crying (and he started crying, lol).

I got home at 3am. The three eldest were with my parents for the night, and Teague was with my sister. So there was nothing to do. I was drunk, I sat in front of my computer and I tried to research some way that I could make a degree happen.
An hour later, I had applied to the Open University (a correspondance-cum-nightschool institution which is as established in the UK as any of the other great universities).
I spoke to the Course Advisor on the following Monday, decided my degree path, signed up for my classes, and voila, in three weeks I will be a student.
I'm still working, but I'm going to be changing my shifts around a little to allow me to fit my entire life in.

I'm excited and just a little scared!
linkpost comment

Tattoo Weirdness [Aug. 3rd, 2007|07:43 pm]
I've bonded with someone over ink, and right now this is the only place I'm safe to discuss it.
Technically I'm in a relationship, and things have been okay in that department.
However, someone I've known for a very long time seems to have turned out to be someone that I want to get to know better. If that makes any sense whatsoever?

Maybe we're suffering from some kind of ink-related-poisoning! LOL.
Last Saturday we both got more work done on our tattoos. Tom, my tattooist was working on me, whilst Dave, his tattoist was working on him. Which inevitably meant that we could talk for over an hour whilst we were being inked. At one point Tom and Dave asked when they were getting invites to the wedding. We laughed it off in that bumbling idiot kind of a way.

Last night I was missing him, so I did something absurd. Knowing that he does doorwork, and having dealt with the agency he works from, I called them up and asked for him by name. He came.
He worked the door even though it was a Thursday night and we had no call for extra security.
He still worked without question.
After close down he tried to kiss me, and I turned my head away and smiled.

I'm due to be at work in one hour, and I've already called his agency. He's working the door tonight.
linkpost comment

Flooding [Jul. 21st, 2007|03:44 pm]
If it were safe to, I'd take my camera out and get some pictures of the floods that we have.
But alas, I'm not risking it until the water slows down a little.
On my way home from the restaurant at 12:45am (and people think that owners work normal hours phhhhtt!), I was astonished by the height of the water in one of the little feeder streams, as I drove over the bridge. Under normal conditions the water here is probably a foot high, if it rains it might double to 2 feet.
Last night the "stream" had breached the 15 foot embankment and was just about to flood the road.
On my journey home I have to cross the same stream again about 2 miles away. This time the water here was rushing over the road. Luckily, it was still drivable, but when I looked down a T-junction, the water was running down the road and pooling into a vast lake that spread over the road, a park, people's gardens. Littered around the lake were broken down vehicles from the "intelligent" people who thought that they could drive their family car through a 3.5ft flood.
Newsflash: Cars aren't boats.

I had the good sense to take the long way around, which involved driving down a street that wasn't yet flooded, but all of the manholes were spouting small plumes of water.
Needless to say, I got home safely and decided not to leave the house until the rains stopped.

English rain is an international joke, but ordinarily we have dry, humid, hot summers. Now we're living right up to the stereotypical weather. It's 15c, it's rained daily for 6 weeks. Our usual 30c summer is not showing it's face this year!

In other news, I need a new car. Three months ago I *wanted* a new car. In fact, I'd picked out the fine details out of the brochure and was ready to order. Then we realised that the smoking ban was going to kick the bar's ass. The restaurant is fine, but we had to spend a lot on getting a smoking shelter outside, and make it pretty. The Bar business is the big business. Restauranting brings a decent income, but bars are the big earners.
So, I shelved the idea of getting a car.
Then over the last three months things happened to my vehicle. It's nothing fancy, it's basically an MPV that seemed like a good idea when I started wanging out the babies at a rate of knots.
It's a Renault, so everything is electric and relies on a console. I have never owned a car this reliant on computer technology before, and it's NOT a good thing.
Some sensor somewhere has blown, which means that it's detecting air or water in the fuel that's not actually there. The engine either cuts out completely, or misfires constantly.
I think my less-than-3-year-old vehicle is a pile of shite. I've had endless problems, and now I'm thinking "Is this worth it?".
I'm gonna have to go for an SUV. Personally, I rather have a VW Camper, but it's not practical. LOL.
I dislike SUV's, but kids grow. Though I sometimes feel like doing so, I don't think it would be fair to stash them on a sunroof :-P
linkpost comment

[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | earlier/later ]